Depart, arrive, depart, arrive!

As I type this I just realised how long some of these post will be because of the all crazy stuff that happens! So if you read the whole thing you are awesome!

The bags are all packed, the devices are unplugged and the house is tidy. Waiting for the transfer service to arrive and take us to Brisbane airport.

The town car, (Mazda 3), pulls up promptly 9:00am. I notice the driver has already picked up a young passenger from what must be a neighbouring hotel. The driver and passenger's minder warn me not to make too much noise as the passenger is asleep...

Once we were on the gateway and the motor purring away we could stop whispering. It seems that baby Samara can sleep through engine noise and the dulcet tones of Chinese wind/string instruments but not my bellowing voice!

Our driver, Steve, snatches a great parking spot next to what looks like a lonely asian man sitting in his car. As Steve completes the parking maneuver Jennie points out that the man seems to have three arms...

Giggles and some red faces followed when a young girl popped her head up from the man's lap! Obviously it was going to be a long separation for the two.

I took a moment to wish for the same good fortunes on our trip and then loaded a trolley with bags. The passenger, (Samara), had now risen from her slumber and took a ride with us. The sights and sounds of the airport certainly kept her busy.



Our "passenger" Samara

Shit you can't do on trolleys...

After taking Samara for a ride we notice the luggage trolley has a picture with a baby riding the luggage and a red circle line thingy through it...just so you know babies can't ride on luggage trolleys in Brisbane..

A coffee, a muffin and a browse through the duty free before fond farewells were exchanged. Off to the departure lounge and customs.

The customs officer seemed pretty well displeased with her job. I guess having to play "Guess Who?" all day with passports and faces must suck a fair bit. She did perk up a little when I asked if she would like to do a body search. It was explained that the law required an amount of reasonable suspicion before a cavity search could be performed, however for $50 I could have it done out the back.

Being that I would be in Thailand and it should be cheaper for that sort of thing there I declined the customs officer's offer.

As we all gather around the departure gate it is announced due to some sort of technical difficulty, (I suspected a koala in the jet turbine), we will not be flying on the plane that we thought we would. At the time I didn’t know what that meant to us until I saw we didn’t have screens in the seats for in-flight entertainment, they were at the front. No problem really though as I had around $40 worth of gaming/mens magazines to get through in the 9 hours it takes to travel.

After assisting a young Pommie lass with her small but overweight cabin bag we piled into our seats and cosied up for the long haul. First up, hot towels.

WTF are with hot towels anyway? Do I wipe my face or rub my hands with it? People on the plane were doing one or the other so I sniffed it instead.

Free beer you say? I know I shouldn’t drink on the plane as it only assists in dehydrating but the wife is having Bicardi and the pommie girls is having Chang beer. I didn’t want to be left out so I ordered a Chang. It and the next 3 were great.

Normally airline food is balls. But Thai airways put on some good grub. I had roasted beef fillet, veggies and mash with a side of smoked salmon. Vicky had the Chicken curry. The curry must have been awesome because Vicky was even eating the thigh parts!! All topped off with a creamy cheesecake and coffee and cheese and crackers...holy shit any wonder I felt bloated!

After the food and booze I felt a bit sleepy and dozed off for a little. I had one of those dreams where you trip and fall...and fall and keep on falling until you are about to hit then ground the BAM! I just about jumped out of my seat to Vicky’s surprise. I decided sleeping on the plane full of people was a bad idea, jut in case I had one of my funky scream and yell dreams.

Another round of hot towels, this time I copied the local guy in front of me with the aviator glasses on. I mean if he only uses the hot towel to wipe his hand and forehead it must be right, right?

Anywho,more food is delivered by smiling Thai’s. I shouldn’t have eaten in but they had fresh fruit, stir-fried noodles with chicken and black mushroom sauce and veggies. Nomnomnomnom! By this time I was well and truly stuffed.

They played The Lincoln Lawyer on the big screen, (big for a plane I guess), I think it would have been a good movie had it not been for Matthew McIdiot. Is it just me or does he talk like a moron all the time?

Welcome to Bangkok airport. When I first saw the sign directing us to transferring flights I thought it was just a funny Thai joke. 1130m Chiang Mai, Phuket etc transfers. 1.1km!

They were not joking. This place was so fucking huge it was like taking the whole of Queen street and the queen street mall and sticking in under a huge dome shaped roof. There was another couple trying to find their connecting flight to Phuket. It’s nice to be confused as a group.

Anyway, we get there after what felt like hours of walking. The place was immaculate. So clean and there were murals and real orchids growing everywhere. The funniest part was their solution to not being allowed to smoke inside but being too far away from the outside to go for a ciggie – a room the size of a 6 x 4 holding cell with glass walls JUST FOR SMOKING IN!!! It was like a coffin to smoke your nails in! Awesome.

Vicky had a short but funny argument with customs while trying to put her bag through the xray.

Thai customs: “Laptop out bag please”

Vicky: “No Laptop”

Thai customs: “Yes. Laptop out bag”

Vicky: “Not a laptop, just books”

Thai customs: “Fucking take the laptop out you dumb Aussie bitch or I’ll throw you in Thai jail”

Vicky: “Chris has the laptop, take him!”

Haha, so the customs guy didn’t actually say that but they did back and forth about the bag until Vicky opened it.

Domestic flight for Chaing Mai, set to go and we board it. I reckon we were the only tourists on the flight and everyone else were locals or married to a local. Oh except for one family with like 60 rowdy kids. What idiots fighting over who gets to sit next to the window.

Fucking hot towels...no wait I imagined they came out! It was a roll with this awesome coriander chicken with cheese. I ate Vicky’s portion but not the little sponge cake. I am wired, Vicky is red-eyed so I go another coffee, (#4 since we departed). We land within an hour and get off with little fuss. Seriously, no-one even stopped us getting our bags and walking out. All the live koalas I had stowed in my luggage get through another x-ray machine no hassle. It’s a good thing I taught them how to be still before I packed them.

Our taxi driver, (Renaldo he said but I bet it was more complicated than that!), was colourful even though we could only catch a few of the broken bits of English he threw at us. Renaldo had a children’s book which he said “look all the nice people write me when I drive!”

Sure enough, there were pages of really nice comments about Renaldo and the service he provides. We took his card but decided if we did get a private tour we would get someone who could speak slightly better English.

Enter the Mecure. I think it was a good idea to stay in western style accommodation in a place where not many people speak English. The staff are quite fluent in english and very polite. It’s like a little sanctuary in a place full of unknown excitement. The room is great, (bathroom is the exception to this but at least it is not a pit toilet and communal shower), and the bed is huuuuuuge! King plus double or something. I could see from the size I would be chasing Vicky around the bed all night for cuddles!



Huge arse bed!

Arse scratch before bed!

As we had eaten so much food and the time was 3:30am in QLD we hit the sack pretty fast. Fuck I forgot the bed jump! I’ll have to do it later...

Tomorrow is walking around Chiang Mai and finish with the Sunday Walking markets. I imagine the markets being tied to the back of elephants and they walk around selling their wares. Who wouldn’t? Floating markets float don’t they so it stands to reason walking markets will walk? I guess we will go and find out.

I’m off - Chris